Sh*tty-Ass Relationships & Their Effect on Your Skin
Disclaimer: The blog post you are about to read is unfiltered. Read at your own risk! ⚠️
I was part of a convo in the studio a few weeks ago that really got my brain wheels spinning.
One of our clients was chatting with her skin therapist about her recent breakup — which was, like, five years overdue. You know the kind.
Now this client is near and dear to us, and y’all know how these studios work, right? We air our dirty laundry, share our secrets, and sync our cycles faster than most people can get out of bed.
So yeah - everybody knew this girl’s business.
We sat through every breakup, every makeup, and every “but maybe this time…”
We watched her slowly realize that her expectations could (and should) be higher than “well, at least he comes home at night now.”
We held our breath through every round, hoping this one would finally stick.
And finally — it did. 💁🏻♀️
Over the next few weeks, we were part of the whole process — the breakup, moving out, a separation of identities, and finally the glow-up. (You know… our official right of passage when leaving unhealthy relationships behind.)
So one day I’m half eavesdropping in the studio and hear:
“GIRL! Your skin is GLOWING! Even your body knew you needed that breakup!”
And she goes, “Well yeah, that’s because for the last five years I was too sad to exfoliate.”
And that was it.
My brain sat up, did a backflip, and said — “Well, sh*t. There’s my next blog post.”*
Because while I’m definitely a full-on girls’ girl who thinks every one of my clients should be treated like the g-damn princesses they are — I also realized that what she said hit on something real.
These two totally different things — relationships and skin health — are absolutely connected.
So let’s break it down, shall we?
How That Sh*tty-Ass Relationship Is Really Affecting Your Skin
Here’s the tea, sis. Maybe you’re here because you saw the title and thought, “Jesus, where is Tina going with this?” or maybe you’ve stumbled onto this post because you actually need to hear it.
Either way — here’s the truth: bad relationships cause chronic stress.
And chronic stress? It’s like putting your skin through a blender. 🫣
Both acute and long-term stress can jack up your skin barrier, slow healing, worsen inflammation, and even screw with your skin-brain connection.
Oh, and here’s a fun fact: one partner’s stress can raise the other’s cortisol levels.
So yes — his shitty-ass mood does affect everyone in the house.
The HPA Axis (a.k.a. Your Body’s Drama Center)
Stress fires up your hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis — basically your internal drama queen.
Picture a tiny dude in your brain wearing a red hat who sees stress coming and screams, “SOUND THE F*CKING ALARM!” 🚨
He calls the pituitary gland (the brain’s middle manager), who’s like, “Yo, Adrenal Glands! You up?” Then the adrenals dump cortisol into your system to help you “fight or flee.”
Cortisol is awesome when you’re running from danger. Not so great when you’re just running from your ex’s emotional unavailability.
When stress becomes chronic — like being in a draining relationship — your body stays in “fight or flight” nonstop. Cortisol stays high. And when cortisol stays high, your skin goes off the rails.
We’re talking:
Overproduction of oil
More breakouts
Slower healing
Inflammation
Dryness
A barrier so weak it’s basically waving a white flag
Your body is focused on survival, not skin glow.
The Barrier Breakdown
Cortisol breaks down the healthy fats and ceramides that keep your skin barrier strong. Those are the little soldiers that hold water in and keep irritation out.
So when stress eats away at them, your skin loses moisture — fast. (Transepidermal water loss, if you wanna sound fancy.) 💦
Think of stress like poking holes in your face. You can slather on your $195 moisturizer all you want, but it’s leaving faster than a deadbeat dad after a positive pregnancy test.
And guess who loves a busted barrier? Your oil glands. They’re like, “Oh bet? GAME ON.”
Cell Turnover & Breakout City
Stress slows your cell turnover, so dead, crusty skin cells hang out longer than your ex’s excuses.
Mix in crappy sleep, caffeine for breakfast, wine for dinner, and skipping your skincare routine — and boom. You’ve aged 87 years.
Here’s the math 🤓
More cortisol = more oil.
More oil = clogged pores.
Clogged pores + bacteria = Breakout City, population YOU.
To make it worse, stress makes your oil thicker and stickier. So all that gunk just gets stuck, trapped, and inflamed.
The Immune System Meltdown
Meanwhile, your immune system is losing its mind.
Stress triggers inflammatory cytokines (tiny messengers that say “PANIC!”), and the more of them you’ve got, the angrier your skin gets.
‼️ We’re talking redness, swelling, itching — or even flare-ups of eczema, psoriasis, rosacea, or hives.
So when your cheeks flush every time you argue with your ex or your eczema patches come back mid-breakdown — you’re not imagining it.
Your skin and nervous system are literally gossiping behind your back.
Behavioral Fallout (aka Stress Makes You Forget How to Human)
Yep. We’re going there.
When your nervous system is cooked, self-care takes a backseat. Suddenly, you’re not sleeping, you’re skipping your skincare, chips have replaced actual meals, and that nervous tick has you picking at your skin - like it owes you money.
And of course — all that just keeps feeding the stress-skin cycle. 😩
It’s not that your products stopped working — it’s that your nervous system took over. Your body is prioritizing survival, not skincare.
The Good News
Here’s the thing — once you start calming your nervous system (a.k.a. stop texting your ex and go take a damn walk), cortisol levels start to drop.
🫶🏼 Your skin barrier rebuilds.
🫶🏼 Inflammation chills out.
🫶🏼 Your glow comes crawling back.
Your skin isn’t broken — she’s just tired of holding it together for you.
Final Thoughts & Disclaimer
Okay, real talk: while there’s a lot of research connecting stress and skin health, human emotions and relationships are complicated. Most of the studies show correlations, not absolute proof — so this is an educational and opinion-based piece, not medical advice.
If you’re in a toxic or abusive relationship, please hear this loud and clear:
💛 Your skin problems are not your fault.
💛 Stress responses are normal, not weaknesses.
💛 You deserve safety, peace, and support — in your life and your body.
If you ever feel unsafe, reach out for help:
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
Text “START” to 88788
Visit thehotline.org for 24/7 confidential support.
Your skin is your body’s storyteller — she’s not blaming you. She’s just asking you to rest, reset, and start treating yourself like the main character again.
Ready to glow-the-eff-up? We got you!
