The Fountain of Youth Does Not Exist. It’s About “Age-Management” Not “Anti-Aging”
Whenever I think about the term “anti-aging,” I think of the movie Death Becomes Her from the 90s (if you haven’t seen it, you should). I’m not sure if it holds up because I watched it when I was twelve, but it’s one of those movies that stuck with me. Looking back, the draw was probably foreshadowing my future career.
The plot is based on the age-old idea of the “Fountain of Youth.” A complete narcissistic actress tries to “outdo” the other woman her husband left her for, by seeking out voodoo magic stuff, and they all end up turning into zombies. It covers all the ridiculousness of trying to achieve “youthful immortality” with the added bonus of women trying to destroy each other over a man. (Oh…weird. That never happens.)
We see this all the time in books and movies - haggard old witches, evil queens, wicked stepmothers, and the list goes on. They’re vain, jealous, and vindictive - and typically set against a version of themselves that they see in a younger, beautiful girl.
This isn’t so far off from how the media wants us to feel, is it? Minus the haggard, the evil, and the wicked.
I remember when I was 22, I bounced out of the house in a sundress and got into my mother’s car, where her friend sat in the passenger seat.
One look at me, and her friend said, “Oh, how I miss being that young.” I didn’t understand why she would say that at the time, so I was just like “Okay, lady.”
It's a part of life. We envy younger women. We look at old pictures of ourselves and remember the days we moved through life with ease in our bodies and carelessness on our faces. Even if we had parts we didn’t love about ourselves, they all seem “so small in comparison” to what we started to see 10+ years down the road.
Enter Hollywood, fairy tales, and advertisements that tell us youth is “good” and old is “bad”, as part of their plan to create a character to fear within ourselves. The impending “Old Hag.”
We’ve been made to fear a made-up subliminal character that targets women at every angle. So we try to stop it, reverse it, and trick it into not happening - as if that is realistic.
Do I miss the girl in the sundress? Absolutely. But don’t for a second think that I don’t completely value and adore the woman I have become since then. Even the parts of me show that progression.
I have these lines forming on my forehead. I think they come from the stress of running my first business. But man, what an accomplishment that has been.
I also have this scar across my abdomen. It reminds me of this amazing little boy who was never quite ready to leave me until he had to.
I have certainly put on a few pounds over the years. It’s probably because I’m at a point in my life where I can afford to eat at better restaurants, and I love splurging on a high-quality steak.
The lines around my eyes are called smile lines for a reason. Man, I have sure done a lot of smiling over the years. I am so fortunate to have made it this long in life.
I experienced a few dark moments in my life. Moments where I didn’t treat myself the way I should. I was angry at myself, depressed with changes in my appearance, and every decision I made seemed to go right along with those feelings. Those times were by no means easy, but they gave me a small bit of wisdom. If I can help someone else through a similar moment by sharing my experience, then it will have been truly worth it.
What I started noticing is that when I took care of myself, I felt great.
Trust me, sometimes that didn’t happen overnight.
It took small changes and reminders that, in the long run, I would feel better if I stuck to it.
Maybe making those changes meant:
🚫 Quitting smoking and drinking alcohol.
💆🏼♀️ Adding a face mask to my weekly routine.
🙅🏼♀️ Ending a bad friendship or relationship for my vibrations.
🍎 Eating an apple and being like, ”Okay Tina, you put one healthy thing in your body today. Good work.”
🫶🏼 Standing up for myself.
It doesn’t have to be a complete transformation overnight. But with time, these things contribute to how well we age. We can spend our days mourning over a version of ourselves we once were, or we can strive to be the best version we can be. Only one of those versions exists today.
The version of you that exists now has seen, learned, and done a lot more. She is powerful, wise, and strong. She has overcome more than the more youthful version of herself ever thought possible. She IS and FEELS beautiful, because she loves herself, and therefore takes care of herself.
We don’t stop aging, and we cannot turn back time - I hope that we don’t even want to. Turning back would be like undoing all the progress we’ve made. The progress that has led us to manage our self-identities, outlook on life, bodies & minds, not to mention our houses, careers, children, and finances. It would mean “unbecoming” the women we always aspired to be.
Sure, maybe we fall backwards sometimes, into a rut. But we get back up, and we always come back stronger than before.
Being even a small part of helping someone through that process is both my job and my passion - age management, not anti-aging. It means being your biggest cheerleader while you navigate the internal and external changes of who you were, are, and will be.
It is teaching my clients how to take care of the woman they are in the present, celebrating her, giving her skin the nourishment it needs, and hopefully transitioning to an older age in a graceful way that says, “Look at me, I earned this and I did it beautifully.”
Are you in need of age management? Or maybe just a chat about how far YOU have come in this beautiful life? Come in for a session!
