That Damn Energy Burst Stuff I Used to Wash My Face With, and Other Weird ’90s Beauty Things.
I showed up early to the beauty party. Go figure, since I ended up making it such a huge part of my life. I was fortunate to have a mom who said yes to pretty much everything… I had a lot of room for self-expression as a child, and boy, did I use it!
Let's add to the equation that the 90s and early 2000s were just plain weird. We had color-changing spoons for our cereal and Lisa Frank’s purple tigers and frosted tips.
So in honor of such a weird decade, I’m going to list 6 of the most ‘90s things I remember doing to my hair, face, and body between the ages of 6 and 20, and the stories behind them.
Because let's face it, adolescence is awkward as it is, and I am ALWAYS ahead of the curve on awkward things.
Clean & Clear Morning Burst Cleanser. Good lord, they had me CONVINCED. I was convinced that if I bought a certain kind of face wash, it would make me not tired anymore. This IS literally the sole purpose of why I bought this cleanser - because I have never been a morning person. I’m still not; I don’t see clients until 10 am because I don’t like to wake up.
So, the goal of this cleanser was to use grapefruit as a source of Vitamin C (this I get), but also because the scent of citrus “wakes you up.” But I still to this day remember the commercial about it, and I was so completely sold that I had to go out and get it right away… just to get to school on time.
Sun-In. Alright, shout out to my mom. I got this in my Easter basket when I was SIX. I was definitely a product of the Barbie generation. I was, in fact, positive that I was destined for a pink jeep and a pool and to be the blondest of blondes out there. And it all started with Sun-In.
For those who don’t know, Sun-In is a peroxide spray you spritz on your hair and then go out into the sun to “develop” the product. Pair that with my Banana Boat baby oil, and Saturdays were for baking directly in the sun, damaging my hair AND body. I still remember the smell of burnt oily skin.
Nair. Oh, THIS is a great story. The first time I tried Nair was at summer camp. I’m not sure if we actually would get in trouble for melting the hair off our bodies or if we just thought we would, but I remember sneaking out of our cabin in the dead of night to rub cream all over our legs that smelled like paint thinner.
The directions said something like “leave on for 5 minutes”, and that stuff BURNED. It burned so badly that all 5 of us girls were hopping around in circles trying to fan ourselves so that we made it the entire recommended time. Then we proceeded to wipe it off our bodies, and our hair went right along with it. At least about 80% of it did; the rest remained in patches, so we just looked like we had mange for the rest of the weekend. It was kind of like a campy werewolf movie in reverse?
Peroxide, just straight up Peroxide. This was my Gwen Stefani phase. I literally just sat upside down with my hair in a bowl full of peroxide, over and over again, until it was canary yellow. I rocked that color until it grew back out. Man, I was cool.
Mary Kay Makeup Parties. I remember one birthday party where my mom had the Mary Kay lady come over and teach us all how to put on makeup. BONUS - we got little makeup pallets with mirrors attached, so we essentially had a lunch tray of makeup.
Fast forward 10-ish years, and I drank the MLM Kool-Aid and did a stint as a “Spa party” officiator for some brand I don’t even remember. I would drive to random people’s houses and have them wash their feet with sugar scrubs on Saturdays. I invested $200, but I think I made back $19 of it?
Juice Bar Cotton Candy Body Spray. This shit BLEW UP my 6th-grade class. It happened overnight. There was actually a time in my life when your social status depended on what kind of body spray you kept in your locker, and this was IT. I still remember the potency of 18 girls in one classroom, smelling like synthetic candy fragrance. Now my favorite lotion smell is ironically “unscented.”
Butterfly Clips. That one time I wore 26 butterfly clips in my hair at once to school, and everyone made fun of me and told me I was weird. This one still hurts, so I’m just going to leave it at that.
In hindsight, I think it's fascinating how much pop culture in beauty shaped me. I have had more mishaps and embarrassing phases than I can count on both hands, but I have just as many fond memories and learned lessons to go with it.
Canary yellow hair and all, I really wouldn’t have had it any other way!
If you have any amazing stories, please email them to me. I am always here for a good cringe session! It would be SO cool if I could put up a Part II Blog on clients’ BEST 90’s beauty experiments gone wrong!!
Let’s cringe together? Whaddya say?!
